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SHAINAA! (part2)
Dec. 15th, 2009 | 10:03 pm
Last week, I heard a talk by a young woman—I’ll call her Cindy-- who had spent most of her growing-up years in foster care. Her brother was shuttled among relatives. Neither was adopted. Their mother was an addict and had abused both children frequently. When her brother was 18, just out of high school, he went home to his mother for one last try. It didn’t work. Six months later, he committed suicide.
Cindy never felt more alone.
But it wasn’t the first time she missed having a home and a family. There were those Thanksgivings at college when she hoped a friend would invite her for the holiday. And she was reminded of all of lonely nights without a mom to confide in or a dad with a broad shoulder to brush away her tears.
Today, Cindy is happily married to a man who adores her. She has a good job and many friends. But nothing can fill the hole in her soul where her family should have been.
Her talk brought tears to the eyes of everyone who heard it. It made me think of all of the Cindys who never have the families they need and deserve. It made me wonder why birth parents are given so many chances to keep ruining the lives of their children.
It made me feel even more certain that adoption is the best option for a child whose birth parents have demonstrated over a period of time that they can’t or won’t give her a loving home.
Posted by Alexandra Bhttp://nationaladoptioncenter.blogs
f you live with one parent, you know that a lot of other kids do, too. More than 20 million kids in the United States live with one parent. Separation and divorce are the most common reasons for this. In other cases, the mom and dad may never have lived together, or one of them may have died.
Living with one parent instead of two can bring out a lot of emotions. These feelings can be pretty strong, and they can be confusing, too. You might feel terribly sad and angry because your parents divorced.
http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/home_
© 1995-2009 The Nemours Foundation. All rights reserved.
In the United States, the effects of single-parent family life on children fall into two categories: (1) those attributed to the lower socioeconomic status of single parents and (2) the short-term consequences of divorce that moderate over time. Four factors are predictive of U.S. children's adjustment to the divorce of their parents: the passage of time, the quality of the children's relationship with their residential parent, the level of conflict between parents, and the economic standing of the children's residential family. In the first few years after a divorce, the children have higher rates of antisocial behavior, aggression, anxiety, and school problems than children in two parent families. However, some of these problems may be attributed to a decrease in available resources and adult super-vision; many of the negative effects disappear when there is adequate supervision, income, and continuity in social networks (McLanahan and Sandefur 1994).
In mother-only families, children tend to experience short-and long-term economic and psychological disadvantages; higher absentee rates at school, lower levels of education, and higher dropout rates (with boys more negatively affected than girls); and more delinquent activity, including alcohol and drug addiction. Adolescents, on the other hand, are more negatively affected by parental discord prior to divorce than by living in single-parent families and actually gain in responsibility as a result of altered family routines (Demo and Acock 1991). Children in single-mother homes are also more likely to experience health-related problems as a result of the decline in their living standard, including the lack of health insurance (Mauldin 1990). Later, as children from single-parent families become adults, they are more likely to marry early, have children early, and divorce. Girls are at greater risk of becoming single mothers as a result of nonmarital childbearing or divorce (McLanahan and Booth 1989). Although the research findings are mixed on long-term effects, the majority of children adjust and recover and do not experience severe problems over time (Coontz 1997).
A common explanation for the problems found among the children of single parents has been the absence of a male adult in the family (Gongla 1982). The relationship between children and non-custodial fathers can be difficult and strained. Fathers often become disinterested and detached from their children; in one study more than 60 percent of fathers either did not visit their children or had no contact with them for over a year. The loss of a father in the family can have implications beyond childhood (Wallerstein and Blakeslee 1989). However, the lack of a male presence may not be as critical as the lack of a male income to the family. The economic deprivation of single-parent family life, in combination with other sources of strain and stress, is a major source of the problems experienced by both parents and children.
Copyright © 2009 Net Industries and its Licensors – All Rights Reserved – Terms of Use
http://family.jrank.org/pages/1577/Sing
Foster Children - How do they cope
Being away from familiar surroundings, people and family can be a difficult time especially for younger children who may not yet understand. This may result in bedwetting, over-activity, strange illness or withdrawal.
Each child is different and may need lots of reassurance and comfort.
Some children who have experienced difficulties may be confused and angry. They may even "test boundaries" to see how much they can get away with.
Carers need to be consistent and firm, but still loving.
Other children may need special help with severe emotional problems, or difficulties at school.
Some may even lie or steal or use alcohol or drugs or place themselves at risk.
Foster carers need to work closely with social workers, teachers, educational psychologists and doctors to help such children.
Where there are specific learning difficulties, medical problems or physical difficulties, foster carers need to follow guidance from parents and specialised advice from health services.
Children will either be looked after on a voluntary basis or on orders from a Children's Hearing
http://www.shetland.gov.uk/socialwork-h
However, every year an estimated 513,000 children in the U.S. will spend it in foster care, according to Foster Club.
http://fosterparenting.suite101.com/art
© Crystal Killion
I have trouble relating to people, especially men. I don’t have any guy friends or buddies, even though I am dying to have some. I have had many, many girlfriends but I’ve broken up with every single one because there is always something wrong with them that I can’t accept. I have been to therapy many times and I’m taking medication for depression and anxiety. It’s helped a little, but those same demons come back. I would appreciate any of your thoughts and suggestions. I need to conquer this becuase I’m afraid I’ll never be happy and I really want to be happy.
http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapi
Copyright © 1992-2009 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Longing for family
By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
July 30, 2009
yra Banks Talks About Longing For A Family
January 10, 2008 - Ashton Kutcher and Tyra Banks
She may be living every girl's dream she's still dreaming of something else herself - such as having a baby. Tyra Banks reveals to Essence magazine that her dreams of being a mother have been shoved aside when her career started to roll.
"After the talk show started, and I had Top Model at the same time, it engulfed me so much that it dulled my maternal instinct," the 34-year-old retired supermodel says.
The host of her self-titled talk show host and America's Next Top Model says that she has not yet completely abandoned the thought of raising her own family. "I hope that when I get more of a handle on my life it comes back."
And although she says she couldn't complain of her life, she still feels certain longing. "I'd go to work and women would be crying in my arms on the talk show. But then I'd go home and put my key in my door and... nothing, no friends, no husband, no children. I feel so full when I'm at work but so empty when I come home."
Banks is the first African-American woman to grace the covers of Sports Illustrated magazine swimsuit issue. She's also one of only four African-Americans to have repeatedly rank Time magazine's list of the world's most influential people. She's currently developing shows for Warner Bros. and with Ashton Kutcher.
http://www.exposay.com/tyra-banks-t
Longing for One's Birth by Mardie Caldwell, Renée Sanford
If your child does not have an open adoption with known birth parents or if you have lost touch with the birth family, there may come a day when your child expresses interest in searching for them and reuniting. First and foremost, remember that this is not necessarily a rejection of you. This is not in response to something you did not provide.
We all have an innate need to know who we are and where we came from. Your child's birth family is part of who he is and where he came from. Different children feel differently about this, and supporting his desire will show your child that you support him. Granted, this may be hard to do, but remember, your child will only benefit from learning more about his birth family's health and medical history, as well as any other genetic information he can gather.
Elly's adoption was closed. At 22, she was newly married and eager to start a family but, as she'd experienced all her life, she had to complete the doctor's forms with "unknown" in every box asking about her family's health history. She had contacted her adoption agency and indicated that she would be open to reuniting with her birth mother, but the agency had never heard from the birth mother. Searching was an option, but Elly just didn't know if she wanted to take it that far.
When Elly was six months pregnant, she got a call out of the blue from the adoption agency, informing her that her birth mother had contacted them and was interested in speaking with Elly. Later that evening, they spoke on the phone for the first time, her birth mother eagerly answering endless medical questions that Elly could share with her doctor.
Sharon, Elly's adopted mother, took the news a bit differently. Suddenly she had visions of this "stranger" being there when Elly delivered, trying to play grandmother, and only "showing up" when all the work was done. Through tears and prayer, Elly and Sharon came to understand each other's positions, and were able to embrace each other's need for reassurance that their bond would always come first.
Encourage your child to include you in her search should she ever pursue it. Embracing the need for a history and a heritage will strengthen the relationship the two of you have and convey that adoption is, indeed, a miraculous gift.
Assure your child that your love and commitment is unconditional — no matter how the birth family responds to her contact with them. If she encounters rejection, she will need your relationship more than ever. You can encourage her to separate negativity and the issues of the birth parent from her own self as a person, but mostly you can pray and grieve with her over another rejection and loss.
Before that day comes, instill in your child her value as a unique individual, created by God in the womb of another, but capable and responsible before Him as is each human being.
Bonus content originally excerpted from Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family, published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., © 2008 by Sanford Communications, Inc. All rights reserved.
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SHAINAA! (part1)
Dec. 15th, 2009 | 10:01 pm
According to the Bible, God's purpose for creating man (Adam and Eve) and providing man with a choice to exercise his free will or volition (the test of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil - Gen 2:9, 17) was directly related to events that preceded the Genesis account.
http://www.cotsk.org/faq/MeaningOfLife.h
Pastor, Steve Ellis · The Church of the Servant King
Importance of Family
- By Ashish Joy
- Published 03/23/2006
The Importance of Family
As I look back upon time, I can say with pure recollection, that family is one of the most important aspects of a person’s life. My upbringing defined me, and my family environment became a part of my identity.
In this respect it remains of utmost importance to initiate, cultivate, maintain, and prioritize family relationships. Growing up in a Western culture where family values are not held as strictly, can be a deterrent in this regard, but it remains in our heritage to continue on this valuable tradition.
I can say I take the best of both worlds when I combine my Indian heritage with my Western upbringing. As a multi-cultural individual, I have teetered on the edge of both cultures, sometimes traversing onto either side of the demarcation line. With a growing sense of who I am, I realize that family relationships are an integral part of what makes up me.
I find identity in family relationships because I am a product of my parents. I was formed in my mother’s womb because of a choice made by both my mother and father. They are my parents, my blood, my reason for existence. As I grew up in their house, I learned a great deal from them.
Some of the barrage of information I acquired over those years of growing up, I applied, while some of the others I wished to forget. Yet the simple fact remains that I was a natural byproduct of the relationship my parents had, and that I had been nurtured in some way by the way they raised me.
My extended family provides meaning to my identity as well. The earliest memories I had of my family are memories that can never be taken away from me. They are treasured beyond all other memories. I can remember times when spending time with extended family brought meaning, love, and acceptance to my young mind. It gave me peace, comfort, and joy. I couldn’t wait to spend time with them
As a child you find comfort in hanging out with your parents. As a teenager you find identity when you step away from parents and illustrate your independence. As a young adult as you are now independent, you learn to appreciate them so much more.
You find yourself loving their mannerisms so much more. You thank them for the things they provided for you as a child, and you look forward to one day being that same source of strength they were to you in your young age, to them in their old age. It is a note that resonates deep within my heart strings. Family is very important to me
Copyright 2009 South Asian Connection - Portal for South Asian Christians. All rights reserved. Interspire Website Publisher Content Management Software
The Importance of the Family
ZENIT
The newly published Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church dedicates one of its first chapters to the institution of the family, described as "the vital cell of society."
The opening number of the section of the family begins with how Sacred Scripture repeatedly underlines the importance and centrality of the family. The book of Genesis narrates the creation of the first man and woman, and the family is portrayed as having a central role in creation. Other Old Testament books speak of the love to be found in the family, which is also where children are taught wisdom and the virtues.
The Compendium recalls Paul VI’s words during his visit to Nazareth in 1964, when the Pontiff spoke of Jesus being born and living within a family, "accepting all its characteristic features, and he conferred the highest dignity on the institution of marriage." (No. 210)
The Church, continues the text, sees in the family "the first natural society, with underived rights that are proper to it, and places it at the center of social life." (No. 211) The family founded on marriage between a man and a woman is important both for natural reasons, as the principal place of interpersonal relationships, and also for supernatural reasons, as a divine institution.
The Compendium then explains the importance of the family for society. For each individual the family is the cradle of life and love where they are born and grow. (No. 212) The climate of affection that unites the family is also where we learn about truth and goodness.
Moreover, the family unit is a community of persons where moral values are taught and the spiritual and cultural heritage of society are passed on.
The family is also essential in ensuring people are strong in their commitments, and promote both social responsibility and solidarity.
Given its vital importance the family has priority over society and the state. "Every social model that intends to serve the good of man must not overlook the centrality and social responsibility of the family." (No. 214)
Invoking the principle of subsidiarity the text affirms that public authorities must not take away from the family tasks that it can carry out by itself, or in association with other families.
http://www.catholiceducation.org/article
Reprinted with permission from Zenit - News from Rome. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2005 Zenit
Friends are people who like us in spite of our faults and who listen to us and tell us the truth. Friends support our decisions and tell us when we're foolish. They laugh with us and share our grief. They are companions and share our interests. They argue with us and stimulate our minds. They are people we aren't afraid of telling our secret wishes to or what is really on our minds.
Friends are your support system. When you can depend on friends, you feel safe and cared for. You belong. During times of conflict, prisoners of war had a list of things that helped them survive. At the top of the list was a support system. Having a buddy who shared their will to live and helped them see the positives in their situation was essential to their survival.
Friends offer acceptance and emotional support. They also help occasionally with the practical aspects of day-to-day living, cooking a meal (or taking you out), helping with chores, or giving you a lift when you need one. Friends also are there to offer advice, an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on. Friendships help us feel connected and less isolated. And, according to Pamela M. Peeke, MD, a professor of medicine at the University of Maryland, friends can even bolster our immune systems.
http://www.relaxationexpert.co.uk/TheImp
© Copyright RelaxationExpert 2000-2009 - Terms & Privacy - Disclaimer
The Importance of Friendship
June 17, 2008
The causes of modern social problems, from divorce to homelessness and obesity, are often thought to be based in areas such as poverty, stress or unhappiness. But researchers suggest we are overlooking something crucial: friendship. It would appear that our society is ignoring its importance.
The philosopher Aristotle said, “In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.” Friendships are vital for wellbeing, but they take time to develop and can’t be artificially created. No wonder they are at risk of being neglected.
Nevertheless, the Gallup Organization’s director, Tom Rath, believes that we are all aware of the value of friendship especially during difficult times. In his book, Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford To Live Without, Rath makes the point that if you ask people why they became homeless, why their marriage failed or why they overeat, they often say it is because of the poor quality, or nonexistence, of friendships. They feel outcast or unloved.
Rath undertook a massive study of friendship, alongside several leading researchers. His work resulted in some surprising statistics: If your best friend eats healthily, you are five times more likely to have a healthy diet yourself. Married people say friendship is more than five times as important as physical intimacy within marriage. Those who say they have no real friends at work have only a one in 12 chance of feeling engaged in their job. Conversely, if you have a “best friend at work”, you are seven times more likely to feel engaged in your job.
The book was very well-received by the business world as well as by readers who could identify with the points made about these often unexplored relationships. On its release, Time magazine stated, “Let friendship ring. It might look like idle chatter, but when employees find friends at work, they feel connected to their jobs. Having a best friend at work is a strong predictor for being a happy and productive employee.”
The book recommends carrying out your own “friendship audit”, in order to recognize which of your friendships provide you with the different things you need, then to sharpen each friendship in line with its strength. Of course, it’s not always a good idea to judge friends in a detached way, or to doubt a friendship just because you can’t easily identify its rewards. The closest friends like each other for who they are in themselves, not for what they deliver. In fact, Aristotle made the point that it is better to give than to receive in friendship. Aristotle also believed that friendship can only arise indirectly, like happiness. It comes with living what he called a good life, including strong personal values such as honesty, character and passion. Our contemporary culture, for all its benefits, tends to focus more on commerce rather than to help us live Aristotle’s “good life”.
British writer Mark Vernon found support for this idea. He quotes the philosopher Epicurus, “The noble man is most involved with wisdom and friendship.” Oscar Wilde also emphasized the altruistic aspect of true friendship when he said, “Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend’s success.”
In his search for the essence of friendship, Vernon explored a variety of definitions from well-known personalities. For example, Ralph Emerson said, “A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere.” Vernon’s book, The Philosophy of Friendship, makes the point that we have now established that money does not buy happiness. He suggests that we take the lead from Aristotle, and spend at least a fifth of our time with our friends. “Is this not what children do in their persistent requests to play with their friends?” he asks.
Vernon writes that a close friend is a mirror of your own self, someone with whom you realize that, though autonomous, you are not alone. He adds that friendship is also important in politics because it “cultivates the virtues, such as creativity and compassion, which are essential to a flourishing society”. He concludes that if we cultivate friendship, we can “lift some of the burden from our apparently unhappy, isolated selves”.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/the-imp
Copyright © 1992-2009 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
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:D
Oct. 17th, 2009 | 12:51 pm
mood: 
frustrated
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SUPPORT JAEBEOM! SIGN THE PETITION!
Sep. 6th, 2009 | 10:00 pm
mood: 
pissed off
PETITION: community.livejournal.com/2pm_gifaday/21
-> READ: After signing, don't forget to check your mail to verify your petition. It's necessary because if you don't verify your petition, it will not be counted.
Ok, so if you're wondering what the petition is all about, here's the story.
4 years ago, Jay posted something on his myspace that offended a lot of Koreans. Duh, 4 years man! 4 years! He was new in Korea and was seriously living in a whole new different world where he doesn't understand what people were saying and what food he was eating. So yeah, he was new at JYP and was frustrated at the language barrier... and his family was in the US so just imagine how lonely he was...
Here's the link of what he posted: 3.bp.blogspot.com/_53Lh5pKBLB8/SqLwGEFGi
He called Korea gay and stuff like that.. Ugh, no big deal.. Not for me.. because duh, he changed.
Here's Jay's and JYP's apology letter: koreanentertainmentportal.blogspot.com/2
So this Korean Netizens want to stop all of 2pm works. They even bashed Wooyoung for defending Jay and wants Teac and Khun out of 2pm [I read that somewhere here in LJ]. Come on, give Jaebeom a break. He definitely deserves our love! He changed, and we all know that.
SUPPORT 2PM! Spread the word :D
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2am news [w/ 2pm]
Sep. 5th, 2009 | 10:18 pm
I'm not really that much of a 2am fan but when I found this, I actually thought that it was cute. :))) 2am and 2pm together is really cute!
I wasn't able to find episode 1 :/
EPISODE 2: www.youtube.com/watch
EPISODE 3: www.youtube.com/watch
-> Jokwon is <3 He even plays River Flows in You and Maybe (Yiruma songs) in the piano. awwww.
EPISODE 4: www.youtube.com/watch
EPISODE 5: www.youtube.com/watch
->Oh my gosh, KHUN :"> :"> I'm so inlove! :">
EPISODE 6: www.youtube.com/watch
-> wow, I think fanmeetings and fansignings are really fun to do @-) I want it! :D
oh, I didn't know that there are lots of episodes... so if you want to watch the other episodes, they're just located at the right part of the screen. :D
There are 12 episodes, but I'm too lazy to put it :)))
ALL CREDITS GO TO Time2Sub :D
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2pm STARKING CUT
Sep. 5th, 2009 | 09:46 pm
Part 1: www.youtube.com/watch
Part 2: www.youtube.com/watch
-> 2pm vs SUJU =))))
Super funny!!!! :"> :"> =)))
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2pm Arrow teaching thingy :)
Sep. 5th, 2009 | 09:27 pm
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Nichkhun [Let's take a break]
Sep. 5th, 2009 | 09:04 pm
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Mnet 20's Choice
Aug. 31st, 2009 | 09:47 am
mood: 
stressed
HOT MR. BEAUTY AWARD: NICKHUN <3 <3
HOT SUMMER HEAT CHASE POPULARITY AWARD: 2
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2pm Introduces themeselves in English :)))) // 2pm English Skills :">
Aug. 26th, 2009 | 12:15 pm
Haha, so funny! Khun, Jaebeom and Teacyeon are so good in speaking in English :">
Junho: Hi my name is 2pm! ~> Haha! It cracked me up! :))))
2pm is so adorable :">
www.youtube.com/watch
Here's another video featuring Jaebeom, Nichkhun and some Teacyeon speaking in English. Whew! Awesome.
www.youtube.com/watch